nora at inkstain

This is a public service announcement.

Okay, that’s a lie, this is a rant.

HEY GIRLS!

Does your man not understand you? Are you dropping hints the size of Ron Jeremy’s cock and he’s just not getting them?

It’s probably because you’re dropping hints and not actually telling him anything.

HEY BOYS!

Do girls not want to date you? Do you constantly spend time with girls but they don’t realize how you’re better for them than those jerks they’re dating? Do you wish they would realize that you’re worthier than those assholes?

Well, you probably aren’t, because you’re being dishonest by befriending them with the hope that they’ll eventually fall in love with you. Ask them out and get the fuck over it if they say no. (Having a difficult time in doing this? There is help.) A surprising amount of friendships actually survive this!

NOTE: Both of these actually apply to both genders. I’ve done them both. You get excused for them the first few times if you’re young and inexperienced. After that, start taking relationship advice from xkcd instead of Friends, or I may slap you.

SECOND NOTE: If the girl who’s dating the jerk is still spending most of her time with you, she might just be in it for the sex. The relationship with the dude, I mean. If you’ve spent most of your time pining over girls that won’t have you, you probably haven’t had time to get good in the sack. Remember, porn isn’t real.

DISCLAIMER: oh god I’m so alone.