Daughter Nora sends along this:
This ultra modern aluminum foil hat will protect your pet from the brain scanning rays of the NSA, fbi.com, and CIA satellites that are monitoring their little subversive thoughts. You may not have considered this before, but your lead lined hat is worthless if your pet can give away your secrets to the very people most dangerous to you – your government!
But we both know that the government’s ‘pet mind reading threat’ pales in comparison to the unknown dangers of aliens reading your pet’s mind. The PFHT Special Edition [PFHTSE, pronounced Pfootsie], has a hydrocarbon-chain lining specially designed to filter the hydrogen band alien brain scans. This space age material may appear to the untrained eye to be just plain plastic shopping bag, but your pet will know the difference.
(I think I must have done raised her up good.)