Unfortunately, the world’s only reliable newspaper doesn’t put all its stories on line, so unless you’ve been to the supermarket recently, you probably missed this:
“It’s coming,” Dr. Soakes warned Weekly World News. “Due to the effects of global warming, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that a flood as bad or even worse than the biblical flood will wipe out all life on Earth sometime in the next six months! It will be a combination of rain and rising sea levels creating perfect flood conditions.”
“But unlike the first flood, this will be an act of man, not God!”
Warren Soakes is not a crazed voice crying doom on a street corner. He is one of the country’s leading climatologists, a respected scientist who, until last month, was director of the Pacific Region Climate and Oceanographic Institute.
Something about El Niño, too. Dr. Soakes is pictured building a large boat.