The Next Great Flood!

Unfortunately, the world’s only reliable newspaper doesn’t put all its stories on line, so unless you’ve been to the supermarket recently, you probably missed this:

“It’s coming,” Dr. Soakes warned Weekly World News. “Due to the effects of global warming, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that a flood as bad or even worse than the biblical flood will wipe out all life on Earth sometime in the next six months! It will be a combination of rain and rising sea levels creating perfect flood conditions.”

“But unlike the first flood, this will be an act of man, not God!”

Warren Soakes is not a crazed voice crying doom on a street corner. He is one of the country’s leading climatologists, a respected scientist who, until last month, was director of the Pacific Region Climate and Oceanographic Institute.

Something about El Niño, too. Dr. Soakes is pictured building a large boat.


  1. Well, John, I look forward to your take on RP Jr.’s latest performance. I must say I wasn’t expecting my case regarding him to be made quite so thoroughly and soon.

  2. “Warren Soakes…a leading climatologist”. Yeah, sure – with no hits on google. Even my name does better than that !

  3. I’m shocked! Shocked to think that the Weekly World News, the world’s only reliable newspaper, might make stuff up! What dose that say about the rest of them?

  4. Here ya go, John. There’s actually a certain resonance with the Weekly World News story, although you’re right that the latter lacks RP Jr.

  5. _Warren_Soakes? As in, he’s got it in for drowning families of rabbits in particular??


  6. There’s some alpaca on my new standard bike ride. I’ll stop by the owner’s place and see what he sez. Oh, they have an ostrich too. No bunnies, tho…



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