Peak Frozen Waffle?

Is this how it begins?

Kelloggs said today production problems have led to a shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffle products.



They say they will be able to restore full waffle production by the middle of next year. Of course that’s what they’re going to say – that it’s all OK, that this is just a short term hiccup in the supply of this vital global resource, and that a booming supply will return, and our lives can return to normal.

But will they? Or is this the beginning of the end of the era of cheap frozen waffles?


  1. There is a plan to pump supercritical CO2 into freezers around the world so that the remaining stores of Eggos last longer and so that the CO2 pressure pushes the waffle packages that are in the recesses of the freezer to the top. In addition, producers of renewable resources (wheat, chickens, and cows) are being given stimulus funding to develop bio-Eggos. Algae may be involved. Already, Doofus LLC has found that chickens do no do well interacting with wind turbines and that wind turbines can easily be damaged by cows.

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  3. The prophesy IS coming true – do you meat robots really think you’ll be able to horde enough frozen Eggo waffles, cans of processed pumpkin and ammunition to escape JUDGMENT™?! Think again, for only the followers of the true Snuggy will KNOW the bliss of possessing mass quantities of consumables.

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